(My paralysis journey) – Today I am feeling good.

A PERSONAL POST.

(Probably a very personal, explaining why I haven’t post much about my latest work).

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How am I feeling?  Well, today is a good day.  

It has been 8 months since I suffered a “nerve failure” (something similar to a stroke without being a stroke) leaving me with the half of my body paralyzed. (Including a severe case of #BellsPalsy). After many tests, CT scans, and MRIs the doctors said that “I needed to give time to my body to heal”. Time? TIME?!

When you cannot move, eat, blink or do anything for yourself, “give time and wait” is the least thing you want to do. You want to recover and get over it NOW.

No, I won’t wait!

I was not ready to settle and stay in bed, so I truly put my mind into it, and just a few months later I was able to walk again. I also recovered my hand movement. Learned to drink using a straw, eat using just one side of my mouth, and remembering to close my eye using my hand to avoid it getting dry. Two months ago, I started going to the GYM again, and I am slowly recovering my body’s strength. (I am not 100% yet but I am working towards it). 

My Bell’s palsy #recovery has been the hardest part. You give for granted so many things in life, and having bells palsy teaches you that NOTHING is granted, not even your ability to blink!!!! After many months suffering from this awful disease, it still breaks my heart every time I have a mirror close to me, and not being able to smile as I used to brings me down. Every single time. It has affected my self-esteem a lot, and I didn’t want anyone to see me or my crooked face for months! I did not tell anyone about my situation other than my family (and very few closed friends) to avoid questions or pity/staring looks. I seriously tried to hide from the entire world for months!  

Yes, I am doing a lot better now, I have recovered a little bit of movement in my face and got a hint of a smile which makes me very happy… but it has been so long since I truly felt myself.

As you can imagine, due to all these health issues, of course my work has been affected too. As a self-entrepreneur photographer, who needs her fully-function body and eyes to work in the daily basics, doing photoshoots and portraits was almost impossible. Not being able to do what I love, was killing me.

After going through all this for 7 months already and still not being 100% recovered, I decided to look into another way to help my body to heal…

A little help…

Last week, I have started doing acupuncture and I think it is working! (…Or at least it is making me feel good that I am doing something about it, and not “just waiting to see IF the body recovers itself” as how many doctors have said). 

Of course some days are better than others, and today is a good one. Today I feel stronger. Knowing how far I am today compared to where I was, makes me grateful. My face doesn’t hurt as much anymore since I started the treatments. My face doesn’t look crooked or “droppy” anymore. I am hopeful again.

Today I just wanted to tell everyone who suffers from ANY disease, that YOU CAN DO IT! 💪🏼 YES! YOU CAN! Think positive, have hope, and always be grateful that you are alive! 🙏🏼

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